Sunday's session at Jonas' and Kat's BE workshop started with a warning that we would have to work harder, dig deeper. We needed to really let our deepest fears, angers, hates, sorrows etc emerge in our paintings. The kind of joy we admire in Jonas' work is only possible by first unloading all the baggage that is holding us back. Now I had been having a good time and didn't really want to drag up old issues let alone waste good paint on them. I should have struck firm but also thought I should conform to these expectations. So I painted about my experiences with health crisis, typical dysfunctional family problems and gloomy winter depression. What emerged was angerlite. Jonas wanted to see more angst, more blood and guts. It made me angry, I didn't want to be angry. Was he goading me to attack the paper? If so, it worked. Here is something I blasted off in a few minutes when it was clear my work was too mild. But even this one turned out to be just plain silly.